Does constant introspection make me self-absorbed? I want to say no, since I certainly don't want to be self-absorbed, and the introspection is suppose to help me become who I want to be. But whenever I start asking someone "So do I......?", or "So am I....?" I think I hear a little sigh in my head and I am not entirely sure that it's not the person I'm talking to projecting a mental "Oh, here she goes again talking about her."
My husband always asks "Why do you ask me all the time?". My answer of course is that "Why, I want to make sure I'm being the best person/wife I can be" with a smile on my face. In my head I am growling, "You are complaining that I'm asking if you're happy with me? Would you rather that I just don't care and go on with whatever I want whether you like it or not?"
Should I just stop asking him? Which would be more annoying?
My friends patiently answer my questions, while my insecure inner self is screaming "Stop talking about yourself! People are going to start avoiding hanging out with you!"
Am I annoying? Is my constant introspection just a neurosis that is cleverly disguised as an attempt at self-improvement? Should I stop asking you now?
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1 comment:
hmmm... getting deep here...
So, while we don't exactly hang out on a regular basis and aren't like BFF or anything like that, your post makes me feel compelled to comment.
Husband: eh. I think they just don't think the way we do. wait, I KNOW they don't think the way we do. I'm sure Mike is typical in that he takes *most* things at face value...? Which could be why he's asking you why you ask him, etc...
I think it all depends on frequency. Like are you finding yourself asking these questions on a daily basis, or once a week? If you are thinking about this daily, then maybe there *is* a hidden need to be "approved" of or to be re-affirmed that you are doing the "right" thing with you're life.
A good friend of mine poses similar questions to me at times. I don't find them annoying at all, but I do turn it around to hear what she thinks before throwing in my 2 cents. "well, what do you think...?" I kinda like those type of conversations, to be honest. It makes the hamsters in my head move faster.
BUT, what is annoying to me is when people talk about problems or things they want to change about themselves, but then DO NOTHING towards that self-improvement.
Also, asking confidence boosting questions like "does this make me look fat?" from a girl in a size 4 makes me insane. One day, I really will just say: "yes, you look like a mama cow about to give birth!"
I think it is part of human nature to want to improve one's self, whether physically or mentally. Ever read much on Buddhism? essentially, the path to enlightenment involves deep introspection. Maybe try meditation?
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